I’ve been thinking about the question above recently in regards to one’s vocation and the question is; do you work for love or for money? If I were to answer the question for myself, I would say I work for money. However, I would like to work more for love.
I have found from my own experience that if you work mainly for money and not love, you will always feel unfulfilled and empty at the end of the day. So what I’m hoping to do now is find that which I love doing and incorporate it into my work. My challenge now is ‘how do I do that?’
How do I change my thinking after learning all my life that you get a job that can pay your bills, and the more pay you earn, the more stuff and bills you can pay for. I basically learnt that you choose a job based on how much it paid or how prestigious it was. This wasn’t a problem for me because academically I had talent so I could basically choose the profession that was prestigious and had the potential to pay well. The question of actually loving the job was a distant second.
Now I have this yearning to do something more creative and I’m struggling to find that in what I currently do for a living. The challenge for me is that I am making money from my current job which more than pays for my bills with some extra. I should be happy if not pleased, and also content I guess. This I’m afraid is not the case; well not entirely. Most of the self help gurus would say I feel this way because I don’t do my job out of love, or I don’t love what I do. I’m inclined to agree with them if I’m honest.
So until I find that which I love to do or can somehow incorporate love of what I do into my work, I will have to console myself with the money I get from it. How long will I be able to carry on like this without making any change(s)? The honest answer is I don’t know, I’ll just have to see.
Ultimately though, I know that if I want to find peace, contentment and fulfillment, I have to start loving what I do or incorporate what I love doing into my work.
So what about you, do you do what you do for love or money? And how do you feel?
It has been more than a year since I last posted on my blog. The reason? – I guess I allowed my ego to convince me that I had no right to talk to people about things like personal development and improving your life when I had my own issues as well, or didn’t really fare any better. It’s taken a while; yes a long while and I’ve realised it’s not really about me but what I can give to the world no matter what my circumstance or reality is.
So here I am with my first post back after so long. I had promised myself that I would post something no matter what. I suppose this just goes to tell you that if we are really determined in doing something, or the desire is strong enough, we will surely find a way.
Until the next time, remain blessed.
By this I mean to achive that goal or fulfil that dream of yours. Are you willing to do whatever it takes and not give up until you reach your destination?
This question is for those of us who have actually set goals or dreams for one thing or another, and have started taking steps towards achieving them, but for one reason or the other have abandoned, or given up on their goals or dreams.
There a lot of reasons why this happens. Maybe we don’t get the results we hoped for and as a result we start having doubts in ourselves and subsequently give up. Another reason could be we’re no longer enjoying what we set out to do, and start to question if this is what we really want. Or maybe it’s not as easy as we thought it would be.
Are these reasons valid? Perhaps they are, but then again they could just be what we really know them for – excuses or reasons to give up.
It all boils down to how serious we are about achieving our goals or fulfiling our dreams. Take me for instance; I have the dream of being a writer and writing bestsellers and making my living from my writing. The reality is that being a successful writer involves a lot of hard work and dedication. As I’ve started to walk this path, I have come to realise this. I’m now at a point where if I’m serious of being a writer, I have to put in the effort and be totally dedicated in achieving this dream. So the question comes to mind – how far am I willing to go? Am I really serious about being a writer, or do I just like the idea of being a writer?
For some of us, we just like the idea of being something or achieving a particular goal. When it all boils down to it, we falter along the way and find all sorts of reasons(excuses) why we can’t go on, or should I say why we won’t go on.
The question again comes to mind… how far will you go?
In order to help with my writing project, the idea to volunteer to write for a charity came up. With this also came the question of which charity should I volunteer to, or more specifically, what do I care about that I would want to volunteer as a writer?
Even this question that should be a no brainer, is already causing me to stop and think about really what the answer is. Really, what do I care about that doesn’t involve me or my family and friends? Have I become so selfish now that I don’t really care about anything else besides my own advancement? Reflecting on the question and my lack of a ready answer to it, is actually giving me cause for concern.
Well I suppose I’ll have to give myself a task to answer the question. To think deeply of what I really care about. Hopefully, the answer I get will not be about me.
Or more importantly, what’s the reason for doing what you do? I put this question out there because I have been asking myself why I do what I do? Am I doing what I do because I really enjoy it and can’t wait to get out there each morning and do it? Or am I doing it because I need to eat, live somewhere and have clothes on my back e.t.c? Lately for me the answer has been leaning towards the latter.
For one to truly enjoy or find fulfilment in what they do, it has to have “meaning” to them. There should be some sort of worthy ideal you strive for in doing what you do. I don’t mean world peace or curing cancer, I mean you have to feel deep inside as if you are providing some sort of worthy service, and not just showing up because it pays the bills. Having that “worthy ideal” feeling usually means you end up being the best or very good at what you do because to you, there is a grand purpose you and you give your all in order to be at your best. You end up using your natural strengths and talents so it is almost as if it is seamless to you. So if you are chef and are asked what you do, you say you create such fine cuisine for your customers that make them have a dining experience that would last forever in their memories. If you are a nurse, you say you give special care and give hope to people who are sick, if you’re in politics you are there to serve and make a difference to the lives of the people you represent, if you’re a banker.., well you get the idea.
It is said that we are all unique and we all have been blessed with a special gift that we can use to better our lives (realising our dreams) and those of the people around us. The challenge is that a lot of us don’t know what this gift is and even when we do, we don’t know how to harness it if it is not inline with our current reality. I suppose in the end it comes down to choice; we can carry on doing what we’re currently doing moving along in a line that is not congruent to our true selves, or we can make a consious effort to find what our unique gift(s) is and somehow find a way to use to better our lives and the lives of the people around us.
So.. what do you do?
We all have a story. A story we tell ourselves as to why we do what we do, or strive for whatever it is that we want out of life. A story we tell ourselves what decisions to make and why we make those decisions. Each of us at any point in our lives is telling ourselves a story as to why we are currently where we are, and why we are doing what we are currently doing.
As I’m writing this article, the story I tell myself is that I would like to share my thoughts with my readers hoping that maybe at least one person will be inspired by it. In the same way, if you are reading it there will be a story you tell yourself that makes you to read it.
Alex is a man who is overweight and sets a goal for himself at the beginning of the year that he must lose the excess weight by eating healthy and exercising regularly. Initially he starts off gingerly and he is committed to eating healthy meals and exercising three times a week. Each time he tells himself that he wants to look better and become fitter and that keeps him going; that is the story he tells himself. After some time, Alex misses a couple of weeks of his exercise routine because he is away on a business trip. While away, he does no exercise and eats a lot of junk food. Each time he tells himself it’s because his gym is not here, he doesn’t have time to prepare healthy food e.t.c. When he comes back, he finds it challenging to get back to his routine. He tells himself that he is tired after a hard days work and just wants to relax. He tells himself that after doing it for some time, he can’t see any improvement so maybe it’s just not working and he’s destined to be overweight. After some time he is able to get himself motivated again by telling himself that he will not quit and he gradually starts to eat healthy and exercise again. In relation to the goal he set for himself, sometimes the story he tells himself empowers him to succeed and at other times it does not. Each time, HE decides what story he tells himself.
We’re now more than half way through the year. A lot of us set goals for ourselves and I believe we all gingerly set about achieving them. Along the way, some of us including me, have either abandoned our goals or either changed paths, or are just plain confused as to what the next step should be. In every case we’re telling ourselves a story. We need to ask ourselves if the story that we tell empowers us and takes us nearer to what we want to achieve or strive for, or is the story dis-empowering us and taking us further away from what we want to achieve or strive for.
There’s always a story…, what’s your story now?
Summer is finally here for us in the UK or should I say, the warmer days are upon us. The last few days have been very good weather wise and you can see everyone basking in the sunshine. People are generally upbeat, sitting outside in the parks, planning activities and going out, generally enjoying the sun and the good weather. It’s almost as if the collective attitude of the population has shifted towards positive as a result of the good weather.
The interesting thing about the summer is that it only lasts for about 3 months or 4 months at best. This obviously means for the remaining 8 to 9 months we won’t have this kind of glorious sunshine as we’re currently having. So what then is our attitude during this time? Do we change our attitude to reflect the weather like when it rains or when it’s cold or grey? There is no doubt that nice weather naturally enhances our moods, the thing to note is that this is still an external influence and only lasts for a short while. What is the weather like internally for you? Are you only bright, radiant and full of life only during the summer months like the weather currently is outside? Do we find ourselves affected negatively be the way the weather is outside when it’s not bright and sunny? If that is the case and you live in the UK like I do, then you’re in for some long months of disappointment.
I believe the key here is for us to look inwards within ourselves and create our own “sunshine”. We have to create our own internal “warmth” which will give us the “sparkle” we experience and enjoy during the summer months. Find that which makes you smile, makes you feel warmth, or makes you glow and draw from it. There will be something there as long as you are looking for it. This is especially useful when the weather outside is not as warm, bright, dry or cool as we would want. At the end of the day the quality of our lives depends only on us and we need to as best as possible, create our own summer internally so that the summer joy, sparkle and zest for life will be there much longer than 3 months if not all through the year.
So.. how long is your summer?
Ah yes, a good question but what is your answer? What would you say you would really like to be doing with yourself? A lot of us don’t know what we really want if we were to be asked. On the other hand, we all seem to have a fairly good idea of what we don’t really want.
Why do we struggle to answer this or even draw blanks when asked? Would we rather just go through each day doing just enough to get by and nothing much else? The truth is that asking ourselves this question and finding out the real answers takes effort. Asking what we really want of ourselves calls for some self analysis or looking inwards which takes some effort. The type of effort I refer to here is the type where we take ownership or responsibility in the direction our lives take and not leaving it to anything or anyone. I believe this ties into the reason why a lot of us don’t set goals, because setting and striving for goals requires some effort.
Some experts say a big part of the reason why a lot of us shy away from this self analysis or looking inwards is because we are so used to being told what to do. Right from when we are born we are told when to wake up, what to wear, when to eat, what school to go to, what to study, when to come to work, when to go home e.t.c. Life moves so fast for a lot of us that we don’t take time to stop and ask ourselves the all important question of what we really want.
So how can you find out what we really want I hear you ask? We can start by answering the following questions; what really excites you?(nothing sinister I hope) You just want to be happy, what does that look like to you? You want to be financially free, what would you then be doing when you’re financially free? If you had NO restriction whatsoever, what would you do, be or(and) have? No matter what you come up with, write it down. Go all out on this one for it doesn’t matter, it’s your life and you can only go as far as you want to. If you want to swim with dolphins, so be it write it down. When you’ve done this, ask which is most important to you and why. As much as possible, be honest with yourself. There’s no point saying you would like to save endangered Orangutans in Burma when you’d actually like to be living it up in the Bahamas.
The main benefit of asking and trying to answer this question is that in so doing, we somehow stumble upon answers and get ideas that give our lives more meaning as we strive for them. And by giving our lives more meaning, we move away from the ordinariness and conformity of life and move to one of more fulfilment and joy.
So…. what do you really want?
Take a moment to think about yourself, I mean really think about your life from when you were a child. Can you remember what your earlier memories were as a young child? How were you then? can you remember how you use to behave? What about when you were a teenager and then a young adult? What about now, how are you? What do you see as having changed in the way you behave and what do you see as having remained the same? The benefit of doing this exercise as I learnt from a recent workshop, is that in finding out aspects of your character that hasn’t changed or remained the same over time, you find out those traits that are really true to your self or core. This is something about yourself that you must express come what may. These traits reveal who you really are as a person.
In doing the exercise myself, I found the character trait I must express in one way or another is my sense of humour. I really must have a laugh in my day. As long as I can remember, I’ve always been clowning around. It has been developing all these years and continually morphs from pure humour to sarcasm, irony, satire, you name it. In all my experiences in life, good and bad I have not let it change this aspect of me.
As we go through life, we automatically become survivors or should I say, we develop a survivalist attitude or behaviour. We sort of do what we have to do in order to be accepted by our friends, family, colleagues, society e.t.c. In most cases when we adopt this survivalist behaviour, we tend to stray away from our true self or core. We “change” into what will give us the most acceptance from a wide range of people we come into contact with. Often this creates an internal conflict that we deny or try to repress outright and they manifest in ways that don’t serve us. Someone who is tender and caring on the inside withholds showing emotion because they don’t want to be seen as weak. A person who dreamt of being a singer or something artistic, but their parents didn’t let them because they didn’t see any value in that. And so we go through life with our true self yearning to be expressed, but not knowing what or how to do it.
What we learn while in survivalist mode does have it’s uses, after all it’s what get us through most of life’s challenges. The key is to find a balance were in so doing, we don’t lose sight of who we really are or what is unique about us. That which lights up our very soul just by engaging in it. A good place to start is by doing that simple but yet profound exercise where we look at our lives from being a child – teenager- young adult – present day, at those aspects of our character that have stayed the same. In doing that, we would be closer to find true peace.
So.. what has not changed?
Ever find yourself saying things like “I’d be happy if I had this or that” or “When the job market starts to pick up, I’ll start looking for a new job”..? If you’re in that situation as I have, then we’ve got ourselves caught in the web of waiting for the perfect moment before we allow ourselves to feel any joy , happiness and most especially contentness in our lives. Truth is there is no perfect moment, time, place job or thing out there that we should put ourselves on hold for before we start to live our lives and appreciate it for what it is.
A lot of us look for something external to give us that joy or happiness in our lives when we should be looking internal. The key for us all is for us to learn to be at peace with ourselves and be at peace with whatever situation life brings to us. When we are at peace with ourselves, we will always look to be happy and appreciate what we have and where we are. We will not just strive to do more in our lives just for the sake of acquiring things, there will always be a higher purpose. We will not wait for that “perfect time” time to start anything we desire because we know that the only time we have is NOW and not some time in the distant future. No matter what you do and where you are in life right now, if you can’t smell the roses of your life right now, chances are no matter what you acquire or achieve you’ll always be a disatisfied miserable git (I say this with love). This is why people who outwardly seem to have so much are still empty and unhappy.
We need to resolve now to be at peace with ourselves in our lives. To be kind to ourselves, to realise that no matter what or where we are in life right now, we can experience peace and joy. Let us stop waiting for the stars and the moon to align or the next venus eclipse before we do so. Stop looking to anything external to give you peace for true peace can only come from within and has to be natural for it to be sustainable.
So what are you waiting for…?
